On this special once in a lifetime 3 x 06 day, I took a pinch and think about my past and present – what I had dreamt to be but what reality had made the now me.

When I was a kid, I thought of being a dancer, ballerina – always admiring the elegance and grace movements that I imagine myself in the centre stage. I tried to enroll into the primary school dance class but never succeed. Turned up for the dance class at age of 8, but was rejected (don’t rem the reason – probably not for pri 2 kids). Then I tried again when I transferred school, but it din take me far as I’d to attend remedial classes. By then, it just seems far from this dream. The only thing I can do was to dance around the house imagine how I can twist and turn. If I do not have those remedial classes, I could have learned how to do a split or bend myself over.

As I grew older, I thought maybe I can be an air stewardess. I want to see the world, indulged in every culture that I can come across. The thought of traveling around the world for “free” was certainly excited. And I can earn a good income to go to overseas uni since it so hard to get into local uni with my so-so wisdom. My parents don’t earn much, so that was what I can probably think of. As I was working towards this path of getting my dream job, it was shattered by the fact that I’d childhood asthma. I declared the truth that I had a history of it. In fact my asthmatic attacks were very mild and I kinda grow out of it. But I got rejected for declaring the truth. It was a sad fact that I had to bear. How contradictive – I could have hidden the truth (liked everyone “consoled” me). It took a then-soul friend who talk me out of my depressing self and helped me moved on.

In between times, I was thinking if I should continue to pursue in IT line. I thought maybe I should become a mathematician as I madly in love with numbers. But the fact is I had stopped school for quite some time. I was really uncertain if I can cope – I din take the challenge. So I continued to take the path of IT and went back to uni. The reality set in that I struggled hard when I took a math unit. Those problems that I used to easily solve in a single snap become a mountain for me to climb. Now whenever I see formulas, I can’t seem to relate to them anymore. It is such a pity. I’d build a good foundation, but the ground had broken.

Time had changed things. Dreams are always dreams, in my context. Reality is one that I had choosen to accept.