An old poem 
Saturday, September 30, 2006 
DREAMS!
Sleeping with a troubled mind,
Hoping that tommorow would be a better day.
The night seems long,
as i dragged my heavy heart.

I found myself in another world,
a land i had never seen before.

I feared as everything seems real.
I feared as my troubles poured in the unkind world.
I searched to find the answer to my heart.
I searched to escape from this world.

Dawn arrived,
Tears filled my eyes.
With all doubts in my mind,
I closed my eyes again and wished to be another world.

I dread to be in the same unkind world again,
for fear that i will hurt the wounded heart.

I stunned as I found myself in the other unkind land.
I hated that and asked myself why do i deserve this.
I forced myself to escape as my heart bleed.
I hate to dream again for it brings more fear.
-2003

I wrote this many years ago. Had stopped writing poem long long ago. Came across it few days ago. Sometimes dreams tells you alot you had pondered and your subconscious state of mind. I do remember my dreams half the time. And I had been dreaming everyday - my bed is a dream bed! Amongst all dreams, I tink I have least sweet dreams. Maybe due to my unhappiness and uncertainty in the past. All others are funny, unhappy or mysterious dreams. Yesternite, my mood went to the deep low point that I feel depressed - hormones at fault! I was missing NiKi so much as he was the one that I go to when I cried and feeling unhappy. My state of mind kept stirring to the past events on "what-if". I was so hoping NiKi will come into my dream. And I recalled, I did had a strange dream with a dog - but it's not NiKi. The dog is fury white but yet the top back is yellowish - quite a messy looking dog. *shrug* Now only chocs will make me happy for now - and I had choc cake and choc drink just now. I eat and sleep almost everytime. But my weighing scale remains the same. *Uhmm* More food coming up to me next week as I'd a list of food to catch - laksa, wantanmee, charkueyteow and many more!
» ÞŨЯρ|Эχ purred aт 1:33 AM