Don't intend to have any big celebration. Probably a gathering at J's friend house for a steamboat dinner.

Recap of 2004: Generally had been a good year for me. I started 2004 at Madam Wong, doing an out of ordinary incident. Offered my remaining tissues to a head bleeding young 20s lady who probably hit by a bottle from an ecstatic clubber. Will she remember me? A day before Chinese New Year eve, An old lady
was knocked flat right in front of me by a running youngster who wanted to beat the lights. Stunned. That young guy continue running away. And I quickly bring her to safety. Will she remember me? Somewhere later half of the year, an oldman needed help to alight the bus at Taka bus stop. He outstretched his left hand, and the other with a walking stick. The busstop was crowded, but no one moved. Stunned. I quickly lend my helping hand. Will he remember me? Maybe they will not, but I will. Felt a sense of satisfaction just to lend my helping hand. I guessed no one believe I was an angel to some! *chuckle*

Let me go down by months to do a check list on 2004

Jan: No luck from any job applications. Chinese New Year - a time to get together. Finally niece and nephew joined us for our visits.

Feb: Finally started temp work at Swarvoski with the help of P. Nervous month as Dad finally undergoes heart operation. Heart was crying when seeing Dad in pain but he managed to pull through.

Mar: Dad was recovering well. Booted myself from the noisy environment. I need peace. I need concentration to get a REAL JOB!!! Got a call for interview. Went twice. But they never called again. Was very pissed off. Even if not selected, they should call and let me know. Somemore I went for 2nd interview. Totally disgusted.

Apr: Managed to splurge a little with my little income. Got myself cable on Apr 14, thinking of catching lots of Juan Carlos during French Open!

May: J's birthday. But clueless what to get him, can't afford something worthy. It's either the meal or the gift. In the end, we had a good meal.

Jun: Got a job opening. Send resume. Knowing I can secure a place here, don't care what it is. Apply! Apply! Got through all interviews. And finally I get it. Thanks to few people and was truely happy that I going to start from somewhere. Mom finally want a pet, so we adopted a dog on 17th June when his previous owner is migrating. Welcome a stranger to our family! How will he looked like, a small dog? a Chihuahua? Nervous day..waited for him a few hours and finally saw it! Nervously, I dunno what to do to him. But slowly, I beginning to like it. Niki - I renamed him.

Jul: Frustrating month. I don't like July, Don't ask me why. Started to feel depressed, start doubting on my new job. Should I accept it? I HAVE TO! Totally clueless what's going around, all the jargons, all the management stuff. At one point of time, I was so frustrated. Lucky I had NiKi to pass my time.

Aug: Total depression. But I managed to patch the pieces. I know what I want for in my life. To stay happy, To be happy, To be with my choice. No regrets.

Sep: Retrenchment month. Felt being tossed around. Knowing what's going to happen but had to keep my cool. Seeing the crude side of a working environment. And now i know, nothing is secure even if U had laid your life for work. Only your family is always there.

Oct: Clueless what's going to happened. Very unhappy month. I spent my days dragging my feet to work. I need my bearings. I want to sail!

Nov: Still dragging my feet. Started planning what to do for year end. A trip? with Who? To Perth? To Bali? No answers.

Dec: I love this month. Year end, time for big celebration. My birthday, My holiday. Finally get to go out of my confined zone. Enjoyed my trip. But the happiness did not last long. Tragedy struck. Everyone looks disturbed. Do we have a choice? Mother Earth - What had you done to us?

12 more hours, 2004 will be going down to the history books. For some, it will be their longest day. I hoped those can find their love ones cause' I know the feeling of missing is hard to bear. I will say my prayers. I will pray to Lord Buddha.

Phuket - I'd one of my best resort holiday few years ago and never regretted to extend my one more day just to go snookering and visiting the few beautiful beaches.

On 27 Dec 2002, I went with my parents again - as I was away during that period. My parents wanting to spend more time with me suggested to go on holiday. Phuket came into my mind as I wanted to share my wonderful experience and was happy to show them around the beautiful sea, rosy sun and clear blue sky.

26 Dec 2004: Sadness fills the air. Thousands of hearts broken within that few seconds. Earth is such a cruel place to live in. My heart sunk when I saw that once paradise beach that was lying in frontof me became nothing less than hell. I felt closely attached to that place. Now, nothing can bring back those memories as the people, the air, the place will be different forever.

Back from Taipei - a city which I'll go again.

Had one of my best holidays with the coool weather & very good hotel service which I'll recommend any1 to stay there if U r going....... they sent me a cake and took pic n sent to me next day .. waaaa.. impressed.. heyhey! ......

Thanks U all for your bdae/xmas greetings...received from Xav, Shan, Sis, Bro, Piggy, greenX, Wee, ping2, toDdler, Agatha, Belle, ahma, Tim, Davi....hope i din missed out any1!!! Most came in via sms, and was surprised to received so many... I must had been a darling to everyone !!! But sadly, all sms are wiped out which I din keep any! *hee*..

Received a rose color DKNY bag from J's friends, neth&corrine, becky&masao - and i liked it VERY MUCH! kudos! And, J's gift was wonderful!!! :) Piggy's gift haven't received yet...I *wonder*.. I still owe her hers!

My "Little Twin Star" collection had expanded!!! Bro n SIL bought me monitor n keyboard cover! Plus, i bought a authentic mouse n pad from Taipei!..Urgh now realised that I'd only left the keyboard which J said earlier that should complete the set!!!

An up n down day, and feeling very upset now...

my family had been peaceful, but today it snapped... b/w my bro's family and mine. i was really very upset and i dunno how to mend the hole........

it was a scuffle between the kids, n the little boy was very "stubborn" he wants to bathe in the bigger tub which was always used by my niece, my sis dunno that there's allocation agreed, then my SIL say no, he shd use his
allocated pail, then the boy started to cry n being v stubborn.. my mom tried to tell my SIL why not tis time round let the little boy use the tub.. my SIL say NO to my mom say since its allocated oredi, else nxt time he always request....... my mom just kept quiet and went away...the little boy start to cry n being stubborn refused to use the pail.. my sis n I tried to coax the boy into the pail ... cos we only want the kids to hv fun and enjoy, and my SIL took the cane n give some spanking at the boy which we did not comment... my sis went away and i managed to coax the boy n played with them, my SIL went away and started to nag at my bro... i dunno what she say, and my bro came with the cane and asked the kids to get out and go home....... my sis commented that there will not be any bath at our plc, n nag n nag..... but i nv say anything cos they do hv the right to teach their kids however they deem fit.

i took the boy to say goodbye to my mom n sister, the little boy sniff abit.. n my heart broke into pieces when i saw my mom start tearing... and i went out with my nephew n just tell my bro not to beat him for this time round... i pleaded my bro not to beat the little one (As his mom threaten at him to do so when they go back) .... then had a heated exchange of words....... then my sis who is the more hot-headed yell them asking not to come again.. n my SIL say smthing (can't rem)........ then xxxxxxxxx

dun feel like continue to say.... but very painful to c family quarrel i only plead on behalf of my mom, today is special day for cantonese family, and my mom's cousin just passed away. had been at lousy mood, but she had been surpassing her pain soo much............. the only thing I am not happy is why when my niece wants something which belongs to the brother, my SIL can ask my nephew to lend/give in to the sister, but it doesn't usually happen the other way round. My nephew recently got a bicycle for his birthday from his aunt, he refused to let the sister sit cos the sister sometimes don't lend things to him too. U know what, my bro and SIL went to search for another bicycle for the girl! what the #@?$4@

We dun want to intefere with their kids upbringing but sometimes it is so questionable...

i'm so stressed..... and i want to return to perth :(

Happy Birthday Ben!!! My naughty lovely nephew is 3 years old today... he's growing to be more adorable but yet pampered! :p he received lots of Thomas the Train theme birthday gifts... Had a 3-in-1 birthday dinner yesterday at home.. but the mood was not fantastic, mom in bad mood, dad in blur mood, i'm in upset mood cos my camera spoilt - not by me :( ... why every year something must happened to upset me!!!! Well at least today abit happier cos one more day to my vacation!!!!!!

7 days more to my 27th year in my life! I'm going on holiday to Taipei for Xmas!!!! *excited* Heck all the work...! Uni results were out yesterday.. imagining myself checking my results 2 years ago... flunked my Computer Graphics... thinking whether I could graduate in time!

Here's the lyrics - might have some errors...I heard the winner who sung this song, really dislike his R&B version of it... prefer the sincere version by SLY x10!!

In my mind, I can climb - all the mountains that surround me.
The spirit there where eagles dare to fly
In my heart, there's the spark - that can light the world around me.
And open door where I'm sure dreams of

Doesn't matter if I win - or the color of my skin.
Cause the races is all about is believing in yourself

And I dream I can run like the wind and be strong.
When my heart, just wants to give in.
I dream, I can be the hero that's in me.
When I dream, I dream.

There's a time in your life - when the odds are so all against you.
There is no defeat if all you keep is pride
First or last, slow or fast – there's a dignity that makes you.
You driving on when the world has come apart

Doesn't matter rich or poor – or the things that you have done before.
Cause the races is all about is believing in yourself
And I dream I can run like the wind and be strong.

When my heart, just want to give in.
I dream, I can be the hero that's in me.

When I dream. I dream.
I dream. Of the moment that forever will be golden

When the touches passed. where the dream is shared by everyone
And I dream I can run like the wind and be strong.
When my heart, just want to give in.

I dream, I can be the hero that's in me. When I dream. I dream.

At least I have something to cheer about today..and that is.... SPAIN WON DAVIS CUP!!! *jump around... cheers* They lost the doubles yesterday but Carlos Moya nailed it down against RodDick today! wOw... I went gaga whenever the camera focused on JCF.. and my sis commented that I'm crazy when comes to Tennis... hee.. of cos I AM!! he's my tennis idol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! such a cutie... aweee.. aweeee......

Wanted to post the lyric of "I Dream"..but it's in my office comp..and certain words I'm still uncertain of...(poor diction as always?!).. but i still humming from time to time... mabbe tmr... Monday... boy.. bOriN! *BoO!*

Today - someone close to my dear is in Heaven. I believe she'll be watching over us with a smile. *a moment of silence please*

Totally agreed to greenx blog entry. I guessthat's how the media exploiting the mass. And, I do tell myself that I WILL NOT VOTE in SI2 if it ever happens. But probably I do hope that the finalist SI do have a promising career, cos not much Singaporean can do well in the entertainment circle onlytill late.

Watched Davis Cup yesterday.2-0 to spain....saw JCF supporting his fella teammates, but how much i hope he was playing. NADAL DID VERY WELL against RodDiCK !! It's the TEAms DOUBLE NOW!! I just switched on the TV and JCF IS PLAYINGWITH rOBERdo!!!!!!! (probably they can afford to lost this?!) but in anyway!! HAPPY!!! *brb*

Dec - MY FAVOURITE MONTH!!!

Thou Sly lost, he is being offered the same contract as the winner! *cheERs* He sung the composed song for the winner "I Dream" was inspiring and earnest but too bad he don't get to own that song which is probably a missable lost. I'll definitely be cheering him on for his first album and hope he do become a superstar!

I'm planning to find new direction to my career path as i'd been disillusioned, disappointed, disregarded... felt totally sadness for 5 sec in my life yesterday as I relooked the effort I put through my studies and my current situation. I can't accept what is lying ahead for me in the "plan". I should have a say in what I want, and since I know I can't achieve it here - I'll search - no mountain is too high to climb!

Davis Cup starts today - just got news that JCF is NOT PLAYING, instead NADAL (up-coming spain teen) is going to playing the 2nd singles. I AM DISAPPOINTED cos JCF had not been playing, and I thought I might be able to catch him around tis time round. Plus it's CLAY COURT!! He was the French Open Champ03!!! *sigh*